Secret to Rejuvenating Intimacy and Desire in a Long-Term Relationship

Today I’m writing mainly as a clinician for two decades and a partner in a year marriage. While my husband is one of those men who tend to keep their feelings to themselves, I know when he is upset, disturbed, bored, irritated, and even when he is just worried or not feeling well physically. Even though you may be able to read one another, deliberately concealing or not articulating negative thoughts you might be having about your mate is part of the road to a happy, long-term marriage or partnership. Be companions while doing your own thing The first factor contributing to a peaceful marriage is learning to be a companion without paying focused attention on your partner. When each member of a couple is allowed to go about playing with whatever and however she or he wishes, while in close proximity to the partner who is likewise permitted to be engaged in another activity, there is often an air of peace in the home. Doing everything together leads to internal ranking i. Parallel play provides companionship while self-development is underway; personal growth is ongoing and able to thrive within a marriage in which both partners are pursuing their own interests, while being in proximity to one another at the same time allows for ongoing emotional regulation. Tom Lewis, in General Theory of Love, describes the lifelong need to be regulated emotionally by close and positive relationships with others. Couples can and do regulate one another while in proximity, although each member is doing his or her own thing. Many disputes and topics of dissention in long-time partnerships are about money, how you spend it, when you spent it, if you spend it.

Does a Better Relationship Mean Better Health?

That is simply not true. Relationships — even the best relationships in the world — require constant attention, nurturing, and work. Compromise Relationships are about not only taking, but also giving.

The impending end of the summer means more than just fading tans, back-to-school sales, and the imminent return of pumpkin spice lattes. For many of you, it might also mean assessing whether your.

The Rules Revisited I’ve dated countless women and it has always amazed me how little they know about men. If nothing else, this blog is an outlet for voicing my astonishment at the typical female’s ignorance of the male mindset. At most, it is a reliable source of advice for women who want to improve their chances with the opposite sex. I knew him through my family and hadn’t seen him in a while. After I told him a little about her, he asked me a very pointed question: I had no answer for him.

Any more time I spent with her was time I wasn’t spending looking for someone I could end up with. It wasn’t very long afterwards that I broke up with her. Since then I’ve messed around with more girls than I can count, but I have never dated a girl that I knew I couldn’t marry – because ultimately that is what I want. I remember having the same mindset myself at that age. I see it still in some of my friends. This notion isn’t the exception, it is the norm.


Someone is in it to win it with me! We asked the ladies their thoughts on being in a committed relationship with someone who has zero intention of getting married EVER. Is it totally cool, because convention sucks anyway? Simply awful, because the dream of a having a big fat rock on your finger will finally make your life complete?

Make a decision within 12 months and avoid the pitfalls of lengthy dating relationships. Daing for a long time may make certain temptations hard to avoid. (and maybe only one another), and are without doubt, This is exactly the level of intimacy that is reserved for marriage only and that dating couples should make every effort to.

By Nina Edwards Many happy marriages result from friendships. You may have a friend you are beginning to look at in a different light and wondering if this feeling of deep affection can translate into a long-term romantic relationship. An intimate and fulfilling friendship forms an excellent foundation for a long-term romantic relationship or marriage. Basis Points Long-lasting marriages often begin with a deep friendship. The study’s authors found that partners who scored high on this measure were more likely to have stable marriages.

Likes Attract Marriages and long-term romantic relationships share many of the same qualities as close friendships. Friends and lovers trust one another, depend on each other for companionship and often have many shared interests. These relationship qualities can help couples and friends confide in one another and continue to find interesting things to do together over the years.

Additionally, both kinds of relationships require that the individuals genuinely like one another. After all, friendships generally lack the kind of physical intensity that characterize romantic relationships. There is no need to worry about this because relationships built solely on physical attraction and passion tend to be short-lived.

It is difficult, possibly even impossible, to sustain that kind of intensity over the long haul. The idea of a happily-ever-after love affair makes for a great plot in a movie, but falls short in real life.

‘She said YEEEEESSSSS!’ Kevin Hart celebrates engagement to long-term girlfriend Eniko Parrish

In one of the most recent studies out of Chapman University — also one of the largest studies on the subject to date — psychologists examined heterosexual couples in long-term relationships to find out what was really going on. The results of the study showed that fanning the flame, i. More than a few sexperts agree. Masturbate more often Thankfully, in the new millennium masturbation taboo is no longer a thing, and touching yourself regularly is something you need to be doing if you want to keep the sexual chemistry crackling.

To help combat this, you can help maintain your sexual energy by staying in touch with yourself through masturbation. Long-term sex can lose the spontaneity that once was present.

Looking for marriage We help you finding a serious partner for marriage or a long-term relationship. Giving you the opportunity to take a scientific test and finding not just anyone, but the one, Parship is the best partner for sophisticated singles seeking a partner and looking for marriage.

November 30, at 3: Why are there so many odd standards for Black women regarding dating? Usually I would excuse myself for my aggressive tone but that would contradict the whole message I am trying to convey. November 30, at 4: We may be seen as the typical angry black woman or just dismissed as being crazy. I myself was raised that way and have done it and still do today! Many times I am silent because I bite my tongue to avoid an argument and avoid cussing people.

It is simpler but ulmitately does more harm than good as it allows the stereotype to continued unchallenged. Most of these memes imply that if a woman is married or in a dead end relationship, it is her fault — nevermind the fact that men start relationships and men propose. Some even suggest that the woman should put pressure on the man about marriage, but most men will lie and then leave rather than talking seriously about marriage.

Also, although not everyone is ready for marriage, there is a point in life in which it is assumed that you are looking for marriage. For instance, if a 35 year old man asks a woman out, she is going to assume that he is looking for something long-term unless he states otherwise. There are already memes that slander Men as it is.

Open marriage

Researchers in the s used the term “open marriage” to describe individual freedom in choosing marriage partners. The O’Neills conceived open marriage as one in which each partner has room for personal growth and can develop outside friendships. Most chapters in the book dealt with non-controversial approaches to revitalizing marriage in areas of trust, role flexibility, communication, identity, and equality. Chapter 16, entitled “Love Without Jealousy”, devoted 20 pages to the proposition that an open marriage could include some forms of sexuality with other partners.

Long-term relationship can get monotonous at some point in time. This article explains how to revive the excitement in the relationship. Discover the secrets to rejuvenating intimacy and desire in long-term .

Online dating sites and apps are transforming relationships. But what might someone from the 19th century think about this unique fusion of technology and romance? In the late s, German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche had a lot to say about love. Arguing that society was heading toward nihilism — that is, a world without meaning, morals and values — Nietzsche thought that romantic love was frivolous , with friendship acting as a much stronger foundation for relationships.

And does it come at the expense of long-term relationships? Here, the research is mixed.

10 Rules For Dating When You Want a Serious Relationship

There are different qualities to sex at different stages in a long relationship: But our culture presents only one type as being valid: It is possible to maintain a happy sex-life for decades with the same person.

Those kinds of people are not worth marriage and long term relationships in my opinion. Find someone that recognizes that all relationships require upkeep, romantic or not and is happy to share that life of keeping the fire going with you.

Controversy[ edit ] Anthropologist Helen Fisher in What happens in the dating world can reflect larger currents within popular culture. For example, when the book The Rules appeared, it touched off media controversy about how men and women should relate to each other, with different positions taken by columnist Maureen Dowd of The New York Times [56] and British writer Kira Cochrane of The Guardian. Sara McCorquodale suggests that women meeting strangers on dates meet initially in busy public places, share details of upcoming dates with friends or family so they know where they’ll be and who they’ll be with, avoid revealing one’s surname or address, and conducting searches on them on the Internet prior to the date.

Don’t leave drinks unattended; have an exit plan if things go badly; and ask a friend to call you on your cell phone an hour into the date to ask how it’s going. If you explain beautifully, a woman does not look to see whether you are handsome or not — but listens more, so you can win her heart. That is why I advise our boys to read stories and watch movies more and to learn more beautiful phrases to tell girls. The Internet is shaping the way new generations date. Facebook , Skype , Whatsapp , and other applications have made remote connections possible.

How Long is Too Long to be Just Dating?

UCLA psychologists answer this question in a new study based on their analysis of married couples over the first 11 years of marriage. For the study, the couples — all first-time newlyweds — were given statements that gauged their level of commitment. The psychologists also conducted follow-ups with the couples every six months for the first four years and again later in their marriages , The couples were asked about their relationship history, their feelings toward each other, the stress in their lives, their level of social support, and their childhood and family, among other subjects.

The research is published online in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the premier journal in social psychology, and will be published in an upcoming print edition. Is it to win this battle?

What About Other Long-Term Relationships? Living with your significant other may also have health benefits. “The general consensus is that, yes, cohabiting has positive effects but not to the same.

Expert on marital and family relationships 10 Rules For Dating When You Want a Serious Relationship The dating world revolves around making the right proactive choices — and this means that if you’re ready for a monogamous relationship, you have to be clear about your goals, both to yourself and prospective partners. Women can take charge of their dating and sex lives in ways they haven’t before. We can initiate dates or group hangouts just as easily as men do.

The dating world revolves around making the right proactive choices — and this means that if you’re ready for a monogamous relationship, you have to be clear about your goals, both to yourself and prospective partners. Finding a partner is a project and requires time and energy. If what you want is a long-term relationship, approach it with your goals in mind. The right mindset is key: Start out by knowing that you are in control of the process. If you’re looking online, do your profile with a friend — this will help you lighten up.

Don’t boast or be self-deprecating.

Dating Vs. Married Couples